How to: Eat half a trey of cookies and avoid slipping into a downward spiral of self loathing

Hello!

So, yesterday I found myself home alone with an itch to make a mess in my kitchen and bake some cookies.

In my third week of cleansing, I found myself researching recipes for ‘the best chocolate chip cookie’ so that I had them on hand to make as soon as that crazy time was over. I found one, bookmarked it, and saved it for another day.

So I made my mess, I baked some cookies, I almost cried when I realized we were almost out of chocolate chips, but luckily we had a lot of left over Halloween candy (which, might I add, would not be the case had I not been on the cleanse) so I improvised with a bunch of Smarties.

Good decision!

In no time at all I had two trays of huge, piping hot chocolate chip cookies just waiting to be devoured. I waited 0.000000988657 seconds and devoured one.

It was perfect. Chewy and melted in my mouth and left my hands greasy from all the butter! I had to have another! Then another! Three cookies and one unhappy tummy later, I rolled myself to bed.

This happens. People can be embarrassed about it and hide it all they want but to avoid it from happening on a regular basis, it’s best to talk blog about it.

 Ask yourself: Self, why exactly did that happen? 

There are two possibilities here, either I was drowning my sorrows about being a boring 20-year-old, hanging out alone in her kitchen on a Friday night making cookies while listening to Coldplay’s Christmas album OR there was a tray of delicious smelling cookies staring me in the face and I simply wanted to eat a lot of them.

Think big picture:

How often do you really sit at home alone on a Friday night stuffing your face with delicious cookies while listening to the Coldplay Christmas album? Not too often right? Well the stuffing my face with cookies part, I’m kind of an old lady and more often than not I’m in bed by 9:30 on Friday nights. Sigh.

You should probably work out.

Don’t go into this with the attitude of ‘GAH I just ate a million calories in cookies, I have to burn off every single one and stay at the gym for four hours until they’re all gone OR until I puke which would only be helping in this situation.

No.

You go work out because it will give you a confidence boost that you might need at the moment. Because it will show you how amazing your body is and why you should treat it nicer. Because it will pump happy endorphins through your veins that no cookie could ever give you!

Eat.

Ya. You can still eat. Oh, and I don’t mean black coffee and egg whites and celery leaves. Don’t go trying to convince yourself that you aren’t hungry or restrict yourself to make up for your gorge fest. That can lead to a vicious cycle that no one needs to get involved in.

Eat another cookie.

Seriously, though. Chances are you didn’t eat the whole batch, and they are still lying around. If you want one, don’t avoid them. Don’t give them the stink eye every time you walk by. Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be! Eat the cookie, taste the cookie and move on. The reason for this is because you want to avoid developing a restrictive attitude towards the cookies. Tell yourself you can’t have cookies; you will want the cookies more. And the cookies will win.

It’s a new day and there are no hard feelings between the cookies and me.

The Cookies:
Lightly adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

2 cups plus 2 tablespoons (10 5/8 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, browned and cooled
1 cup packed (7 ounces) light or dark brown sugar
1/2 cup (3 1/2 ounces) granulated sugar
1 large egg plus 1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 c. chocolate chips
3/4 c. smarties

1. Adjust the oven racks to the upper- and lower-middle positions and heat the oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper or spray them with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Whisk the flour, baking soda, and salt together in a medium bowl; set aside.

3. Either by hand or with an electric mixer, mix the butter and sugars until thoroughly blended. Beat in the egg, yolk, and vanilla until combined. Add the dry ingredients and beat at low speed just until combined. Stir in the chips to taste.

4. Roll a scant 2 tbsp into a ball. Hold the dough ball with the fingertips of both hands and pull into 2 equal halves. Rotate the halves 90 degrees and, with jagged surfaces facing up, join the halves together at their base, again forming a single ball, being careful not to smooth the dough’s uneven surface. Place the formed dough balls on the prepared baking sheets, jagged surface up, spacing them 2 1/2 inches apart.

5. Bake until the cookies are light golden grown and the outer edges start to harden yet the centers are still soft and puffy, 15 minutes, rotating the baking sheets front to back and top to bottom halfway through the baking time. Cool the cookies on the sheets. Remove the cooled cookies from the baking sheets with a side metal spatula.

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